#Dear15me

  Before the tag by fellow blogger @paige_mariah, I had no idea that there was a #Dear15me campaign or what it means. So, I made enquiries about the campaign and I love the idea that surrounds  what the movement stands for.

  Brief explanation of #Dear15me Campaign: 

    Basically, Dawn McCoy created a movement where we can share our stories and struggles of when we were 15 years old and share a hindsight vision to help encourage teenagers to love and accept themselves just as they are right now.

  Personally, I agree with this idea of sharing our stories and struggles to encourage teenagers because it guides teenagers and helps them focus on being teenagers. It would have been of great help to me if someone had brought up this idea when I was a teenager. With that being said, these are the 15 things that I would have loved to tell my 15 years old self.

1) You are not close to being obese, so drop that insecurity.

2) Do not stress over your hair because any hair style suits you.

3) Stick to your career path because changing it changed you a whole lot but not for bad though.

4) Do not worry about your friends because you will lose more than half of them after you clock 16.

5) Wait on it, that major environmental change you wanted will finally come.

6) You still have the phobia of growing old, so enjoy your teenage years while it lasts because adulthood is a trap!!

7) Keep playing dress ups and fake make up dates because it will come around to be very helpful.

8) Your writing skills improved like no man's business.

9) You will eventually get over road sickness but it will take a pretty long time.

10) You will later find out that you are an ambivert (combination of extrovert and introvert) and you will love it.

11) Do not stress over relationships, the one will come, hopefully.

12) You will not meet your best friend of life till later and you will love her..

13) Start learning how to save, it will help you in the long run.

14) Nobody is perfect including you!

15) Keep being an observer, it comes in handy to make the right decisions.

  These are the things I would love my 15 years old self to know,only if I can go back in time... What would you like to tell your 15 years old self? 

Feel free to leave your comments

Influence of technology

   After making jest of my friend over the phone, my next thought was to charge the battery of my phone because it kept vibrating to notify me of its low battery, and I also need a charged phone so as to be able listen to Spotify while I work. I plugged my charger into the outlet, then upon connecting my charger to the charging port of my phone, I noticed that there was no indication of my phone charging. I smiled at first thinking that I did not plug in the charger into the outlet, I did the process all over and it gave me the same result. At that point, I was weak, confused and angry. So, I decided to get home to use my younger brother's charger since we use similar phones. I got home, hurriedly changed into mufti and went straight to look for his charger, redoing the process, the result was not any different. I was lost,I was literally shaking because of my fear of the unknown. My mum came into the room and asked me what was wrong with me, staring at the wall, I soberly said my phone was damaged. She looked at me as though I spoke gibberish and she said,"well fix it". My fear was not fixing my phone, my fear was the thought of not having a phone to get by with for onIy God knows how long, I hurriedly called some of my friends to find out what can be done, one of them asked for my Apple ID, so as to enable him book an appointment at the Apple Store closest to my house but unfortunately, the network service was too bad for him to book the appointment. Few hours later, my younger brother came to my rescue by giving me an old phone of his which I was able to use to connect with the world but being that it was a phone from two years ago, I was not really excited. I kept calling every one I know to figure out a way to fix my phone since I could not book an appointment with any Apple Store,one of my friends made a suggestion that calmed me down. He said,"Maybe it is a good thing,you can have time for yourself now". At first, I was pissed because it did not make sense to me but about a minute later, I said out loud to myself  and it was clear to me. 

Why do not I use this opportunity to exclude myself from the world? I remember saying that I need to self detox   and this situation seemed perfect. Trust me, I felt good when I got done with the detox.

  Technology is important,it has been of good use ever since its invention started, it is also essential for daily needs and everyday life. But needless to say, just like money, technology has turned out to be the second root of all evil. Technology has taken over other important aspects of our lives. 

   Nowadays, most children are being schooled by technology in both good and bad ways. The relationship between spouses, friends, siblings, offsprings and their parents have amounted to zero due to the lack of good communication because most of the time, we are all focused on a form of technology, like our phones, tablets, laptops or the television which takes away that special moment.

   In as much as a lot people argue that our lives have become better since the  emergence of technology, personally, I do not agree with that notion. I believe technology has changed our lives in a negative way, there are a gazillion reasons but the reason that stands out most for me is the communication issue. 

 

   What is the solution to this problem? Parents! This young generation parents are something else, they are in competition with each other for who has the latest trends, whose child(ren) has the higher version of technology amongst other things. By living this type of life, they are sending the wrong messages to their offsprings, the offsprings in turn indirectly and directly intimidates their friends or in some cases, be victims of bully. It is a large circle that comes round back to point at the parent(s), that is the reason the role of the parent(s) is very important. 

So now the question for you all to ask yourselves, what influence does technology have on the society at large and if it is a positive or negative impact?

Enjoy reading!

Feel free to leave your comments

My lips as a black woman

    Your lips are awkwardly small for a black woman? You must be mixed? First time seeing a black girl with small lips? These are just a few of the questions I get asked when someone notices my lips. I can say that I am used to these types of questions regarding my lips,to the extent that before they ask any questions,I have an awkward reply or just stare at them without uttering a word.

   There was a period when a so called "Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge" was in vogue, the challenge involved a person putting their lips in a cork or cup or whatever can fit their lips with the hope of giving an illusion of full lips. I watched so many videos of teenagers fool themselves with this act, yeah, I said "fool" because it is only a foolish person that will intentionally cause a deformity to their body. In some parts of the world, black women are bashed for having full lips but now because "celebrities" are getting lips injections to enlarge their lips, society has come around to embrace full lips. 

    I am one of the few black women that does not have full lips but I love my small lips, I can not imagine myself trying to alter the way my lips are because all of a sudden society somewhat approves full lips. I want to scream a large appreciation to the black women who appreciates their full lips despite it being bashed by some ignorant folks. What am I saying? I love the whole of me, I love my blackness, I love my nappy hair,  and I love the fact that I do not have to stress over getting sun burnt. That is how much I love my skin.

   Yes,I have insecurities. I pray for a flatter stomach and a bigger butt, I wish I can get rid of all the hair sticking out on my body. But note one thing, this has nothing to do with my skin color being black, these things I wish for are the same things that a Latin woman or a white woman wishes for. Society needs to know learn the right words to classify groups of insecurities. 

   I have always learnt to appreciate my skin right from time, long before I became aware of racism or ethnocentrism.               Moving to America has opened my eyes to what the society views as beautiful but I believe everyone has the power to choose if they will allow the society to dictate what beauty should be.

Enjoy reading!!!

Feel free to leave your comments or opinions.

Balancing work and school

    5 years ago, I would not have imagined myself doing what I am currently doing now. I pictured myself being a graduate with the possibility of being an employee in a prestigious company,living happily with my family and maybe will be in a good relationship. These are what I imagined myself doing 5 years ago but fortunately and unfortunately my life turned out to be different. Do not get me wrong,my life currently is not the best but I will rather have my life be like this than for it to be any different because I believe everything is a learning phase.

    Back to the main focus of discussion,the world as we knew it few years back is different from what it is now,things have changed for the better for some and worse for others. Well, most of us, teenagers and young adults are being forced into doing what on a normal ground we would not want to do, which is going to school and working at the same time. Yeah, they are people that actually do both of these, thanks to the economy and society at large. 

    When I am asked how I balance going to school as a full time student and also work as a full time employee,I sigh and I simply say, it is all by the grace of God. True, who else other than God will I thank for the strength,determination and dedication but I also take some other steps that helps to put me on check and not loose my sanity. These tips have helped me to survive the stress that comes with being a full time student and worker for the past two years,hopefully it helps you as well.

Create a balance: What I mean by this is that, I try to take classes that will not be too overwhelming. Depending on the number of classes I choose to take for the semester, I mix both hard core classes and easy classes. Then for work, I let my employer know what my class schedule is so that my work schedule can be made to work around my class schedule. Therefore giving me time to recuperate from the workload of the other.

Accountable partner(s): As we all know,we are influenced by those that surrounds us.If you have friends that are not focused on prevailing,it will be rubbed off on you whether you like it or not. In other words, befriend those that are on the same path of success as you. Those friends that sees you doing your assignment and instead of trying to convince you to go clubbing,they sit with you and study too.

Get a mentor: Ask a child who he or her mentor is, they will hurriedly say either their parent(s) or class teacher or even a cartoon character,which is actually not bad because they are children. Ask an adult in this generation who their mentor is and most of them will look at you like you are speaking a foreign language. What am I driving at? Most of us in this generation do not have a mentor. Having a mentor is very important because a mentor acts as an advisor and a reminder of who you want to become. I have mentors, two of whom I know one personally and the other is someone I look up to without the person's knowledge.  

Create a me time: After the busy week,you deserve to relieve yourself because by doing so,the coming week will be fun to look forward to. With that being said, go out and relax with yourself. Take a chill pill and get yourself together,shop online or in store, or you can also eat out,just do something that does not involve school or work but do 

not forget your school assignments.

Remember your friends: I noticed that when we resume classes and work is also included, we tend to push our friends aside which I understand but still our friends should be a get away from the stress. You can plan a day outing with any of your friends at the beginning of the week. By doing this,you talk about your week,the stress of combining school and work, generally everything. I try to meet with my closest friends at least once in two weeks, or I FaceTime with them depending on who has an iPhone. So yeah,it helps a great deal.

   These are my few tips that I have been using for the past two years to survive this hustle and they have been very helpful. Shuffling between work and school has been helpful in so many ways, it has practically changed me for the better.

America's original first family

    Over the weekend, I saw the most annoying magazine post ever and I am sure that a lot of us saw the same post and wondered where the sanity of cosmopolitan magazine team was when they said The Kardashians are America's first family. 

   This is plain stupidity for them to consider this family for such a position that rightfully belongs to President Barack Obama's family. I am trying to understand if this was done out of sheer jealousy that the original America's first family is black.

 

   At least,someone was able to correct the foolishness displayed by cosmopolitan magazine. I was wondering why the Kardashians were even considered for such a noble position because ever since I have come to learn about this family in 2011, nothing good has come out of the family. Thanks to them, a lot of women even men have lost their path of direction and are being led astray due to what they see this family display. 

   Funny thing, this is not the first time cosmopolitan magazine is being bais and racist. Earlier this year, Cosmopolitan magazine had a topic that focused on "dying" trends where they used "black women" to describe the "dying" trends. So that is the reason why, I am not surprised that cosmopolitan magazine chose not to acknowledge and respect America's first family.

    What is your opinion about who the Cosmopolitan magazine chose to be America's first family?

Enjoy!!!

Drop the habit

       Letting go of certain things can be very hard, especially habits. Habits that we have grown into becomes a part of us, stopping it can be done but it takes a lot of time and practice. First, let us understand what an HABIT is.

       According to Cambridge English Dictionary, a habit is a particular act or a way of acting you tend to do regularly. Habit comes in two ways: good and bad. 

How can one differentiate between a good habit and a bad habit? Everyone has their ways of distinguishing between a good and bad habit.

     Ask me and I will tell you that a good habit is the type of habit that helps us to accomplish our goals, there are the habits that puts us on the same path with making us achieve set goals while bad habits is the opposite of what good habits are. Bad habits are like stumbling blocks that stands in our way of achieving our goals and plans. 

Note, not every habit that a particular person sees has being good is seen has being good by another person, and the same thing applies to bad habits.

    For instance; Personally, I hate any form of smoking, be it a hookah cigarette or electric cigarette, count me out of it but some people do not see it that way, someone was told me cigarettes does not kill, people kill people. I laughed at that statement because it reminded of the quote that we use to deal with gun control,"Gun doesn't kill,people kill people". Another bad habit, being clingy, it is one of my favorites bad habits to talk about because it applies to me, making it easy for me to relate to.

Being clingy is a situation where one finds him or herself attached to a particular thing or person. Whereby a person seems to hold on tight to someone, which can be annoying to the other person. How do I know that I am clingy? A person can tell that they are being clingy by the behavior of the other person, the other person seeks for space,may become irritated by the clingy person's character and worst of all, avoids the person. Just like every bad habit, it is hard to stop but very possible, if the person is willing and ready to.

    Like I stated earlier, bad habits can be stopped but it can be very hard to stop especially if it has become a part of us. Since I have the bad habit of being clingy and biting of my nails, m amongst other bad habits that I have. I practice three steps that has been helping me to work on me.

Step 1: Accept it

Before any change can be done, one has to admit and accept that he or she has a bad habit that has to be dropped. Accept your flaws and make it yours.

Step 2: Make a journal 

Write it down as a reminder. It is just like having a journal, but unlike any other type of journal, this time it is a journal for writing down the bad characters that has to be dropped. You go through the journal every once in a while to make sure that you are doing what you are supposed to.

Step 3:Replace it

Find something else to do. Replace the bad habit with something good and worthwhile. Try something new that you have not done before. I started blogging and my YouTube channel to take off the object of obsession from my mind.

     These are the steps that I take that has helped and is still helping me to get rid of my bad habits. If you are having the same issues as me, I will advise you to follow theses steps.

          What are your bad habits that you want to get rid of and what steps have you taken to stop it? 

Enjoy!!!!

Farewell summer 2015!

   It was just like yesterday that I dumped my heavy coats and jackets for light kimonos. Summer is not my favorite season of the year but you must agree with me when I say it's too hard to say good bye!!!!! This has been the most adventurous summer ever,made friends that are more like frenemies now, traveled to different states for the first time,fell in love and most importantly,I was welcomed into adulthood,all these and more happened this summer.

   Fall is going to be an interesting season too, apart from it being my favorite season of the year,it marks the end of the year with a lot festivities from Halloween to Thanksgiving then Christmas!!!!!! On this note, I bid a good farewell to summer 2015!!!! We are definitely not meeting again.

My last summer outfit

Details: 

Hat-- HnM

Shirt--Zara men

Skirt--Akira

Shoes--Forever 21

Purse--Thrift store 

 What is your favorite summer memory?